One MOT down since evil boob went bad.

Well, I have just been for my first annual breast MOT. That's my first check-up with the breast team and breast examination, or what I think I will refer to from now on as my annual MOT (I guess it sort of fits too; M.O.T = "maul of tit" - sorry couldn't resist). 

All appears fine ;-D

I have to admit I had been a bit apprehensive about going. I had no reason to be; nothing had changed since the mammogram, I had no new lumps or bumps... so it was always going to just be routine.... but I had still got myself a little apprehensive. I only became apprehensive yesterday, up until then I just thought of it as routine. But after waking up Monday morning from a dream in which they found lots of tumours at a check up and told me I was done for (not a nice dream really!), I started to get apprehensive where I once was calm. 

Obviously, no need to get worried. They are quite happy for me to toddle off into the real world and get on with things. They don't want to see me for another year. 

What did I say when they told me it was just yearly check ups from now on;

"So, no-one will see me till this time next year.... really, no one........ no check ups, no scans, no nothing"...... Yikes, I am on my own, this really is what discharge means. It's sunk in now that that is a good thing and I know they are just at the end of a phone and at the first sign of trouble I can be right back in there.

Rudding Park.

Last night we went out for dinner to the Clocktower restaurant at Rudding Park in Harrogate. I had been given some vouchers to go and have some Yorkshire Tapas as a end of treatment gift rom Ade and Sarah. So I saved them for a special Valentines treat and James and I went out for a posh meal. It was lovely. First we had a drink in the cool bar, then dinner in the retro dining room, followed by coffee in the comfy library. We did have the yorkshire tapas.... but as a starter so we could also sample the main courses and a pudding too.

I was so full afterwards! Yum, thanks guys.

Working from home

Someone has been a bit unhappy about my return to work recently.

Today I compromised and worked from home, the result was a very contented pussy cat

a weighty issue

hmmmm, I am coming to the conclusion that I might have been a bit niave in thinking that my chemo-weight would just drop of me after treatment finished.

Yes, the pills-from-hell (steroids) had made me water retentive and my face bloated like a big bouncy ball and yes, that went not long after finishing taking them.
However, I can't really blame the 2 stone that seemed to accumulate on my body during chemo on the steroids entirely. That was down to me being totally sedentary and eating like a crazy woman (well, some of that was due to pills-from-hell actually making me crave food to take away a funny taste in my mouth, but still there is no denying that scientific equation about calories in = energy out).

So I did think that once I stopped taking the pills-from-hell, stopped eating like a woman crazed, started being active in my daily life (let alone actually do some proper exercise), that I would see the weight just drop off me.

No! Despite having concsiously tried to eat healthily and sensibly since christmas and taking on a new love of (low-level) exercise - it ain't doing all that much. Yes, I am feeling so much healthier and more energentic and I am slowly tip-toeing down the pounds. But my BMI is still in the overweight category - Grrrrrrrrrr - although if I am generous with my height measurements I can just teter on the boundry with normal ;-D

Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy with my weight and don't think I am actually all that fat (whatever my BMI score says!) and I certainly don't feel self-conscious anymore like I did with the bloated bouncy ball face. I would just like to be my old dress size and I guess it will just have to be a gradual continued effort to get there (no big suprise that then). I have read that many women think that Tamoxifen can make you put on weight and so that might be why I am not loosing much. But, I don't really beleive that - I think that is an excuse to explain away being lazy and fat!

Anyway, perhaps I should resurect the graphs and publish my weight for all to see - that would be an incentive to shift those pounds! I thought for the purposes of this blog entry I should also include some photos to illustrate me at the start and end of 6 months of chemotherapy - I think it is self explanatory which waist-line is which (I haven't selected a deliberately-horrible frumpy post-chemo one to prove my point or anything! honest ;-D ).

Update: Romance isn't dead!

My hubby has just taken me to the poshest fish restaurant in town for a valentines supper... yes, that's the local fish and chip restaurant/shack in our village. Two haddock and chips (with bread butty) and a pot of tea for two. Ooooh arn't we romantic.
I am also eating out on Sat and Sun nights too... so I guess I can't really go complaining at the size of my waistline now can I!

Discharged!

I've been discharged from the oncologist.

"Go away - we don't want to see you again!"

Yippeeeeeeee. I am going to be followed up by my breast team and the lovely Mr Turton breast surgeon. I will next see him at the end of Feb and then I expect it will be 6-monthly/yearly from then on, with the obligatory yearly mammograms of course. But this years mammo was clear; no sign of recurrance. Jolly good.

I am picking up energy-wise as well. I have been using my recuperation days to go for small swims and I think it is making all the difference - it has been noticed that I am not so comatose in the evenings and am walking with a bit more of a spring in my step - including tackling the stairs at work! I still am pooped by my days in work, but they are working really well being alternate days. I am relucatant to increase this just yet because I would then have to sacrifice the exercise and I think that is helping me get better and it is really important to me. So slowly but surely I will get there. I still have my low days (like yesterday my limbs were tired and I hardly had energy to pick my feet up by the end of the day) but they are getting fewer and I am sure there will come a point where I just don't think about it.