Well, this breast cancer thing is a rollercoaster... and at times this week I have felt like i've been on the Blackpool Big One. I have had really great times when I have felt able to get out and about at the weekend and full of energy to go into work the last 2 days. Seeing people again was really good and I have nattered their ears off! But also there have been sad times too. Earlier in the week I noticed the first of the signs that my body is falling apart. Well not falling apart, just sufferring. The first was looking at how raw the back of my hands were... only to notice my skin was cracking up.. all the junctions between all my skin cells were just splitting apart. So copious moisturisation throughout the day has made them look more normal.. they still sting lots. And my hair is on its way out I think. Joking about wigs and playing with head scarves aside, it hit me that I probably will shortly start looking horrendous :-( and was unlikely to see people while looking "normal" for very much longer - I hadn't thought I was particularly worried about people seeing me like that but in reality it hit me that I do care a little bit. This sadness has now evaporated thanks to lots of chatter and coffee and cakes with friends and I am again looking forward to embracing my wigs (currently I have 3; Red, Curly and Sleek brown) and have a hat shopping spree planned for the weekend (Yippeeeeee). My hair still hurts so much, whenever my hair is moved at the roots it is quite sharp and painful. Last night I tried wearing a hat in bed to stop my hair being ruffled on the pillow. I didn't think it had made any difference as I woke up a with a bit of a sore-head, then I tried to take the hat off. OH MY GOD!!!!!!! all my follicles shrieked out in pain as the hair moved when I pulled the hat off.. I had to keep going until I had removed the hat and it bought tears to my eyes. Amazingly no hair came out with the hat.
My new found burst of energy evaporated a bit yesterday afternoon too and so I had to come home to bed :-( I am still head achy and so I am going to spend the day in bed again today to regain some energy to get out and about again tomorrow :-)
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8 comments:
Sorry to hear you didn't feel so well today...Hope you feel a bit better soon. Sarah x
Chris & Ang say.chin up sweetheart:You're still our lovely Dawn however you feel.. Nothing can take your inner self away, love you lots, you are going to beat this and we will see you soon. Only wish we could take some of the "nasty" away .XXXXXXXXXXXX
Ask the chemo nurses about your dry skin... it's v common and they should have some cream that they can dole out for free. Oh, and if your finger prints start disappearing let me know, I have a cool grippy cloth that I can send you - it makes it loads easier to open jars and get a better grasp of things (oo-er). Keep smiling, SK x
Ouch, your poor head. Hope you're not feeling so tired today. If you see any fancy hats you want knitting let me know. xx
I hope you managed to get out and about again at the weekend and that you're feeling up to round 2 starting this week. Thinking of you always,
ZS x
Sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. Hope that you felt well enough to get out hat shopping this weekend. Still thinking of you every day.
Lots of love marianne and paul xxx
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/content.php?page_id=2749
Breast cancer care ribbon walk 2007. Anyone fancy doing the Derbyshire Dales walk with me in June? It's not just for girls by the way (just like breast cancer doesn't just affect girls). SK
I would like add a note about a recent suggestion about the breast cancer care ribbon walk, unfortunately I won't be able to partake myself due to my grueling schedule :) however, Breast Cancer Care UK has been an invaluable source of reliable information and support to me so far from diagnosis to date. If there was one fundraising activity that could actually be of future benefit to me it would be this one.
Oh that and the Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre in Leeds that I must mention for all the teas and comfy sofas I have popped in to make use of when I am having a low moment and all the free treatments I keep banging on about getting from here (reflexology, reki, manicures and a LookGoodFeelBetter course I am going on soon where I have an afternoon with beauticians and a £200 free make up goody bag - SO EXCITED)
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