Oh, the end is in sight!
Very successful chemo trip. First stabbing got a vein in my hand, I wonder if it was because I was somewhat more relaxed than usual - having just been for a free hand and foot massage in the Macmillan cancer centre at the hospital. I went in early on the train to get my bloods done and teemed it up with a massage in the time before meeting James in the clinic.
All went swimmingly; apart from my train ride in! A totally packed out train with no seats and people standing... so I decided to pluck up courage and use the chemo excuse to blag me a seat. Standing for an hour on a chemo day and bracing my aching body against the seats was not for me today. So I went to the first seats - a set of 2 tables with 8 people around them. Took a deep breath and timidly asked if anyone would mind giving up their seat for me because I was on chemo and I was having to get the train in for my treatment. And I stood there.... and I stood there.... they jolly well heard me because all of them passed looks between one another and wouldn't even make eye contact with me. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed for asking so I didn't say anything to them all and moved on to the next seat and apologetically asked another lady who jumped up and moved her teenage daughter to perch next to her. She was so nice, she could see I was clearly shaken-up after putting myself out there and she offered me some water (I was wearing head scarf and hat and looked very tired and had bags under my eyes so I looked the part too!). I wish I had had the courage to say something and make them all feel jolly bad! grrrrrr I can't believe it. Maybe I was expecting a bit much and was a bit cheeky. Maybe cancer is all around so much these days that going through chemotherapy is not that bigger deal anymore. Well, I can tell you - it still is pretty tough going! grrrr. Rant over.
So, anyhow.... it was all a success. Still a long day having had an appointment for 1:30 and out at around 6. The doc saw me about the eye problems which I am still having quite badly. She seemed a bit unsure but decided it was probably the steroids and so we will try and reduce them again next week. It is a play off between side effects and staving off an allergic reaction. I said that I would live with the side effects (if temporary) to keep going and avoid any allergic reactions that might mean stopping my drugs. I am also living with a constant low level achy-ness most of the time and if I overdo it my joints and bones can get really achy. But I am determined to start getting myself going again. I can now see Radiotherapy looming in the near future and for that I will need to drive a 2 hour round trip to get 10 minutes of Zapping every weekday for 4-5 weeks. So I think that might be a massive shock to the system so I am trying to start picking things up as much and as best I can now.
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7 comments:
Am so cross about those nasty people on the train! How rude of them to ignore you like that. Hope you are not too achey this time round. Sarah M xx
What awful people there are on trains these days. Noone wants to give up their seats and feign deafness to avoid it - I even saw one woman about 8months pregnant fighting her way through a carriage the other day with everyone 'looking the other way'. I gave my seat up, but she had walked past about 30 people before then.
I'll get off my soap box now! At least there are a few decent people left... SFx
Well done for being brave enough to ask them for a seat! Lazy buggers. I get grr on trains too when people insist on parking their oversize suitcase on the seat next to them so it's partly blocking the aisle too, even if there's plenty of room in the luggage racks at the end, and people are standing up cos there aren't enough seats. Grr indeed (can you tell I've spent a fair few hours on trains this week ;) ) Anyway, hooray for the end being in sight :) Go chemo go! See you soon I hope xx
I 'm just flabbergasted at the first lot of the people on the train, how rude!!! Thank goodness there are still some nice folk around as well :-)
Dawn, those people should feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves.I know you are far too nice a person to wish them harm, but it does make your blood boil .
Glad it went o.k. otherwise though. Lots of love. Chris & Angie
I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for a seat. People are just very selfish. I've seen people refuse to move their kids for pregnant women and old ladies before. It was brave of you to ask and they probably felt guilty enough anyway.
Yey for 5 treatments done! And yey for stabbable veins!
It saddens me that no-one jumped up immediately to offer their seat :-( I saw a 'study' on this kind of thing recently, and apparently the most effective thing to do is approach a single person and ask them to give up their seat rather than ask a group of people. I think it's something to do with if you ask a group of people, they will all wait for someone else to offer their seat, whereas if you ask an individual, they have no-one else involved in the decision but themselves! Might be worth considering for 'next time'!
The girl who carried out this 'study' didn't even give a reason for 'needing' a seat, she just asked someone if she could sit down, and the majority (I don't have the exact figures!) didn't even question her! ZS xx
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