Malinger-er!

Now, am I chemo-drained or just feeble??? I don't know!!!

But today I have been a bit pathetic again. I can remember I hit this wall last time round... where I felt like I should be picking up and becoming a useful member of society again... only I didn't really have it in me to do anything about it!!
I know it passed quickly last time when I made myself do a few tasks for the week and started getting out walking to the shop etc... but I wonder if I will always get this little "hurdle" to get over .

Anyway, I did really try to get up today, honest I did. I even popped out to the village post office for an errand... but I just felt so spaced out and queasy I came home straight into bed. If I was at deaths door then I am sure that would be easier because I would feel justified in going to bed for the afternoon... but I can't say I am that bad, just really not right; bit achy, bit headachy, bit tired, bit drained, just a bit - oh-I-don't-know! So I feel like I am in some no-man's-land. Grrrrrrrr.

Everything else is panning out exactly the same as last time in that I feel like I am coming down with tonsillitis - I guess that could be related to the fact that my immune system is probably taking it's worst pummeling at the moment so is just letting me know about it. I have the horrible taste in my mouth.... which seems only to be taken away by constantly eating (you should have seen me standing in the kitchen shoveling crisps into my mouth earlier - what a sight).

Tomorrow will be the first time when I have to deal with taking my head out into public. I have an appointment to go to (will post all the info about that tomorrow - but just to say it's an exciting appointment not a poo one - fingers crossed I will have the energy). Not sure what I will throw on but needless to say it needs something. The whole hair loss thing has been hitting with a vengeance the last few days. I didn't think it possible to loose sooooooooooo much hair! I sit here and just have them falling in droves into my lap. I am eating them off my pillow at night... and heavens forbid if I put my hand to my head- woooah chunks of it come out! I have taken over from the cats in the moulting stakes and I think the Dyson will be given a run for its money. I have loads of baldy patches now. I know it sounds gross... but in reality it is more intriguing than horrid and I haven't felt fazed by it. What a pre-emptive shopping spree can do hey!

So now I can truly say I am pretty bald (or as I am going to prefer to start looking at it - bald but pretty!)