Now I feel like I am on chemo :(

Well, I have passed the quarter way through point and have been administered dose 3.

This last week it has been building and I now well and truly feel that I am on chemo. Fatigue has kicked in and my whole mindset about it has changed. I now have to plan to do one thing per day and save up my energy for that. I have to think beforehand that after an hour, or maybe two, tiredness will hit and so I will need to come back home for a nap. It just needs an hours recharge and I am OK again. I also have to plan to have myself a full-on relax day the day after I have allowed myself a trip out to do something otherwise I don't recharge properly.

Fatigue is a bit weird. Its not just sleepiness.... its hard to describe... but for completeness of reporting on my blog I will have a go. I start to feel a queasy sea-sickness feeling growing in my head which is the first sign I am going to flag. Then sentences become hard work and my ability to follow conversations slows down. I then start to get a heavy feeling in my body and all my limbs become heavy and hard to move. I feel walking becomes a bit like dragging my body along. But I am seriously scaling down what I can do from now on and will just go with the flow and it should hopefully become easier if I am not expecting so much or pushing myself as much. Plus, I think I will lend myself very well to slow pottering and the occasional cake baking and housewifely duty.

Yesterday my chemo nurses said I was doing really well. Apart from fatigue, other side effects are now being really well controlled and it's not that hard-going pain and suffering wise. She did tell me that the drugs I were getting were the most toxic and hard going of the chemo drugs they administered and said I was coping really well with it. She also told me that I must keep up with the high calorie diet (get in!... I am going to take this fully on board).

Now onto chemo dose 3. Hmmmmm... going into clinic for the last 2 doses wasn't too bad an experience really. This time it wasn't enjoyable (not that the others were but I was quite happy to have a giggle and a chat with the staff on the others and walked out like nothing had happened).

This time I went into chemo feeling drained and nauseous. At least on the others I had felt back close to normality ready for the next hit. So this time in clinic I was a bit tired and emotional and had a few moments. The pre-chemo nausea may have been anticipation nausea (in my head basically). I was into the chair around 11 this time and finishing off around 1. However I had to stick around a little longer because the cyclophosphamide was given a little bit too quickly right at the end and I got a huge head rush to accompany the funny nose feeling. This sent me into a semi-comatose state for 20 minutes so I had to have a little shut eye before I was able to attempt to stand up and leave. This eased but didn't really pass and so from that moment on I felt crappy and was straight to bed and sleeping for the afternoon. I had my nausea meds switched and started even earlier on these and perhaps I was slightly better with just the one vom session around 8pm but again had a good nights sleep and have woken up much clearer and free of serious nausea feelings. Hooray. Staying in bed though!!

Anyway, this may have sounded like one big moan session... I am just trying to tell it how it is and suprising my spirits are still riding high.