I spoke too soon...

…4 hours after writing my last post on Tuesday I found myself sitting on a bed in hospital waiting for blood test results which would be about to signal a stay in hospital. On going to the GP she found I had a raised temperature and so I needed to get myself over to hospital to get checked over.
10pm and the results were in... I was neutropenic! I was convinced I would be going home, instead they got me hooked up to IV drip to feed me antibiotics and got me my own little side room to stay overnight.

48hrs later and I am still here!

Neutropenic means my levels of white cells (neutrophils) have dropped to levels whereby my body would be unable to fend of any bacterial infections that might decide to take hold. Therefore I have to be hooked up to IV antibiotics to do the job for them. When I came in my levels were 0.7 (below 1 is low)… by Wednesday they had dropped to 0.5…. and today they are still going down at 0.2… grrrrr another night in hospital for me until they pick back up. Ironically I am feeling alright, I just don’t have a functioning immune system at the moment so it would be quite dangerous for me to be anywhere but hospital. I need constant observations of my temperature and blood pressure etc.

… so now I REALLY hate chemo. Up until now I had been rolling with the punches it dealt me. This time it has just gone too far. Yes, I am quite concerned about having no immune system and a bit scared about getting an infection. Moreover, I am incredibly p***ed off at having to be in hospital. Tomorrow we were supposed to be going to a friend's wedding. Words cannot quite describe how much we had both been looking forward to it. I had been on a special shopping trip and bought an entire new outfit to match the wig I had chosen to wear for the occasion. I was just really excited and couldn’t wait. So most of all I am feeling really annoyed at my stupid body for getting in the way of this and I have shed a lot of tears this week (I think the nurses may have learnt to avoid asking my about the wedding because they now know how prone I am to blubbing!). Anyway, there is no chance of going and it is all out of my hands now so I just have to get on with it.

I don’t know how long I will be here… that depends on my immune system. I really hope it starts picking up soon as I would quite like an immune system back now please.