I have been taking tamoxifen for a week now and all seems well and I feel good. No hot flushes to speak of, which is good. However, I don't know whether it is related to the Tamoxifen but this last week I have generally ached, had a bad back pain, and my joints have seized up quite badly. Quite a few times I have hobbled around like my old chemo Taxol days, but then equally quite a few times I have dashed around and am now faster than the OAP's on Skipton high street - Hoorah! It feels great to be held up by doddering old ladies whom I am trying to get past :D
My bone scan went OK. I had a few hours to kill in between getting the radioactive injection and sitting in the big gamma machine. The scan itself was fine but I had to lie still for a total of 20 minutes to scan my whole body and my arms ached from holding them out at the end of it. It was however very exciting to look over and catch a glimpse of my very own skeleton flash up on the screen. I haven't got another doctors appointment to get these results, but I figure they will contact me if there is anything that shows up that needs worrying about.
I am generally starting to get on with life after chemo now and am trying to build up my daily activity levels to get me fighting fit for my return to work. Although I have found it quite hard to know exactly what to say to the question I seem to get asked these days...
"have you had the all clear?"
I don't know quite how to answer it. I suppose I have in as much as I have been told to go away and not come back to see the oncologist for 6 months - that has allowed me a little bit of closure. As far as they can tell we have removed the solid tumour and I have given my body the best shot with chemo and radiotherapy. However, I haven't got a marker that shows whether the chemo has worked for me. There was no tumor to shrink and even my hair started growing on the second half of treatment. So we just hope that the chemo has worked and killed any remaining cancer cells in my body.
The next 2 years are the "high risk" years. There is a high risk of the cancer coming back in the first 2 years after treatment. There is still a risk extending out to 5 years. After that it isn't risk free but its a pretty good outcome. I couldn't quite bring myself to ask the oncologist what the likely chances are of a recurrence would be for my individual case. I figure I am better off not knowing that statistic and what will-be-will-be.
Now I am just going to try my hardest to get back to the Dawn I was before all this; before I thought about breast cancer a lot, before I constantly was assessing "how do I feel today?". I am starting to get there already. At times I could even forget that I have just been through chemo, during it I could hardly contemplate what a day-in-the-life of a non-chemo person could be! Now I can, and it's pretty good!
Monday, 27 August 2007
Monday, 20 August 2007
Weddings and dancing.
I popped my first tamoxifen last night, and as expected, I am none-the-wiser I took it. What a chicken I was!!!
I have also been to a wedding this weekend. I have to confess to having a jolly big blub in the church. I was just thinking how lovely the bride looked walking down the isle and how it was a year since I was doing it and how at that point we didn't know what was to come around the corner and then... bam.... my eyes started leaking all over the place. Luckily that sort of thing is completely allowed at weddings and I got it relatively under control and was able to sit back and enjoy the rest of the service which was lovely. Thankfully my eyelashes are also not yet long enough to really benefit from mascara so I didn't have to worry about that running all over the place. Later on there was a ceilidh and I even got up and did 2 dances with my new found energy (one of them being with a 6 year old boy as my partner so I didn't need to worry about over exerting myself).
I am off for my bone scan on Wednesday which means going in for an injection of radioactive tracer in the morning and then waiting 3 hours for it to be taken up into my bones before going back for the scan later that afternoon. I think I will take doctors orders during this time to go and do a little bit of shopping!
I have also been to a wedding this weekend. I have to confess to having a jolly big blub in the church. I was just thinking how lovely the bride looked walking down the isle and how it was a year since I was doing it and how at that point we didn't know what was to come around the corner and then... bam.... my eyes started leaking all over the place. Luckily that sort of thing is completely allowed at weddings and I got it relatively under control and was able to sit back and enjoy the rest of the service which was lovely. Thankfully my eyelashes are also not yet long enough to really benefit from mascara so I didn't have to worry about that running all over the place. Later on there was a ceilidh and I even got up and did 2 dances with my new found energy (one of them being with a 6 year old boy as my partner so I didn't need to worry about over exerting myself).
I am off for my bone scan on Wednesday which means going in for an injection of radioactive tracer in the morning and then waiting 3 hours for it to be taken up into my bones before going back for the scan later that afternoon. I think I will take doctors orders during this time to go and do a little bit of shopping!
Thursday, 16 August 2007
So, Tamoxifen....
I am thinking about taking my first Tamoxifen tablet tonight. I have the little packet of 28 days worth of pills sitting here looking at me.....
.... yet, I can't quite bring myself to take it....
I am going to have to... but, I have enjoyed having 12 treatment free days and was just starting to feel like my body was side-effect free.
I'll take it later before bed.
.... yet, I can't quite bring myself to take it....
I am going to have to... but, I have enjoyed having 12 treatment free days and was just starting to feel like my body was side-effect free.
I'll take it later before bed.
Little baby steps.
I have had a brilliant letter through from the occupational health doctor regarding getting ready for my return to work;
"You should focus on pacing activity, and slowly increasing it, focusing on those matters concerned with getting through the necessities (such as paying bills, shopping etc.)".
Woo Hoo, I have been given doctors orders to go shopping!!!! If he meant grocery shopping he should have been more specific!
I am feeling better by the day and almost forgot what it was like to be on chemo. However, yesterday I had a flashback when a chemo-fatigue crash happened while in Leeds. I had forgotten how hard and fast it can hit and it reminded me exactly what I have been through and to not get complacent. Little baby steps is the way to go.
"You should focus on pacing activity, and slowly increasing it, focusing on those matters concerned with getting through the necessities (such as paying bills, shopping etc.)".
Woo Hoo, I have been given doctors orders to go shopping!!!! If he meant grocery shopping he should have been more specific!
I am feeling better by the day and almost forgot what it was like to be on chemo. However, yesterday I had a flashback when a chemo-fatigue crash happened while in Leeds. I had forgotten how hard and fast it can hit and it reminded me exactly what I have been through and to not get complacent. Little baby steps is the way to go.
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
It's the little things in life...
.... like hearing the words;
"The CT results are back. Your lungs look normal, your liver looks normal, there are no enlarged lymph glands to worry about"
that can really put a smile on your face :)
I still have a bone scan to go on the 22nd August. But all being well, the oncologists has told me to go away and they will see me again in 6 months!
I have also made the decision on the next stage of treatment. I have decided (and the oncologist agreed) that taking Zoladex to shut down my ovaries and put myself through an early, prolonged menopause was going a bit far. I will therefore start taking tamoxifen tablets and see how I tolerate it, if I tolerate it well then I might as well keep taking them. If I don't tolerate it well then I don't have to feel bad about deciding it isn't for me and stop taking it. Sounds fair to me!
p.s to all my work folk, I was well chuffed that during today's appointment I managed to discuss clonal selection with my oncologist!
"The CT results are back. Your lungs look normal, your liver looks normal, there are no enlarged lymph glands to worry about"
that can really put a smile on your face :)
I still have a bone scan to go on the 22nd August. But all being well, the oncologists has told me to go away and they will see me again in 6 months!
I have also made the decision on the next stage of treatment. I have decided (and the oncologist agreed) that taking Zoladex to shut down my ovaries and put myself through an early, prolonged menopause was going a bit far. I will therefore start taking tamoxifen tablets and see how I tolerate it, if I tolerate it well then I might as well keep taking them. If I don't tolerate it well then I don't have to feel bad about deciding it isn't for me and stop taking it. Sounds fair to me!
p.s to all my work folk, I was well chuffed that during today's appointment I managed to discuss clonal selection with my oncologist!
Monday, 13 August 2007
Up, Up and Away!!!!
Well, I have just had the most wonderful anniversary ever!!!
James and I went away to the beautiful Peak District. We spent a day near Bakewell going for a little walk/rock scramble and then, after a long fabulous lunch at the Druids Inn in Birchover, we relaxed in the sun by the river at Bakewell Showground.
However, these were not the main attractions and reasons for going. Obviously it was our Balloon ride! The weather conditions prevented our morning flight, however, we were able to reschedule it for Sunday evening and after spending most of the weekend trying to second guess the weather conditions and whether we would fly, all systems were go in the end - Hoorah!
Riding High!
The balloon ride was just the most fantastic experience ever. I can't begin to tell you, but I will have a good go! We got stuck right in helping to inflate the balloon and set it all up ready for our "Exclusive for Two" flight. Then it was jump in and lift off. Take off was a really funny sensation, like being on a huge open air elevator that went very high and very quick. I loved the feeling, it felt really smooth and safe being up there.
We first flew over the peak district and Chatsworth house and then the wind carried us over the rooftops of Chesterfield. We flew pretty low over the houses and I felt like royalty gliding over and waving hello to the people below.
The landing was real good fun and the basket ended up on its side so we felt we had a real balloon experience. No bruises as I had James to hold on to and protect me (i.e cushion my fall!)
All in all it was just amazing (have I said that already!!!). It is all thanks to a wonderful peak-district based charity called Challenge Cancer Through Adventure. They arranged it all for me and covered all the costs and even turned up to get stuck in with the balloon inflating. I cannot begin to express how much I appreciate it. Also, the wonderful Dragon Balloon Company folk who took us up into the air. I would recommend them to anyone. Thanks everyone from James and I!
Friday, 10 August 2007
Scanned.
That's the CT scan done and dusted.
Thankfully I didn't know before hand that a cannula was going to be involved or I might not have breezed in so carefree.... but despite the nurse saying that she could see it was a well-used vein and a bit on the tough side (cheeky!), there were no problems hooking me up.
I had to drink a jug full of nasty tasting liquid during the 30 minutes before the scan, even blackcurrant squash didn't make it taste nice.
I also had to get injected with a radioactive tracer... the nurse told me that I might get hot and flushed and feel like I had wet myself, but that was completely natural!!!!!! what on earth!!!! but when the injection happened - I suppose I could see what she meant.
Then it was just on a table which moved back and forward through the big spinny machine (good scientific term hey!) and I had to breathe in, breathe out, breathe in... hold it..... hold it.......hold it.... breathe out. And that was pretty much it. Well, apart from the radioactive pee that I probably have now :D
Things are still feeling good. My red patch is real sore now :( If I stretch up to quick it is quite painful and feels like I am splitting the skin, which is not nice. Quick grab the tube of aqueous cream and slather it on.
I also am a little miffed that I thought aches would be a thing of the past now free of the Taxol. However, this week I have felt a little like I have been six rounds in the boxing ring. Mainly the small of my back aches like I have been really sitting wrong and despite not having the energy to do much my muslces are convinced I have been doing squats and crunches. If only I looked as though I had been doing squats and crunches....
Thankfully I didn't know before hand that a cannula was going to be involved or I might not have breezed in so carefree.... but despite the nurse saying that she could see it was a well-used vein and a bit on the tough side (cheeky!), there were no problems hooking me up.
I had to drink a jug full of nasty tasting liquid during the 30 minutes before the scan, even blackcurrant squash didn't make it taste nice.
I also had to get injected with a radioactive tracer... the nurse told me that I might get hot and flushed and feel like I had wet myself, but that was completely natural!!!!!! what on earth!!!! but when the injection happened - I suppose I could see what she meant.
Then it was just on a table which moved back and forward through the big spinny machine (good scientific term hey!) and I had to breathe in, breathe out, breathe in... hold it..... hold it.......hold it.... breathe out. And that was pretty much it. Well, apart from the radioactive pee that I probably have now :D
Things are still feeling good. My red patch is real sore now :( If I stretch up to quick it is quite painful and feels like I am splitting the skin, which is not nice. Quick grab the tube of aqueous cream and slather it on.
I also am a little miffed that I thought aches would be a thing of the past now free of the Taxol. However, this week I have felt a little like I have been six rounds in the boxing ring. Mainly the small of my back aches like I have been really sitting wrong and despite not having the energy to do much my muslces are convinced I have been doing squats and crunches. If only I looked as though I had been doing squats and crunches....
Thursday, 9 August 2007
Woo Hoo....
After a little set back a week ago when all my eyelashes and eyebrows fell out all over again.....
.... I am now sprouting a zillion little new eyelashes!
Oh, how I have missed mascara!
Right I am now off to eat lots this evening because in the morning I will be fasting before my scan :(
.... I am now sprouting a zillion little new eyelashes!
Oh, how I have missed mascara!
Right I am now off to eat lots this evening because in the morning I will be fasting before my scan :(
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Rest and Recuperation.
It feels so nice to not be receiving any treatment this week. I am starting to feel much better than I did on chemo.
I have been told that the after effects of Radiotherapy will sadly get worse before they get better. So the next few weeks may have to still be a little low key. Generally redness on what I am terming the "Greater Breast Area" is receding. However the smaller square patch that surrounds my scar and extends under my armpit (where I received my boosters) is getting pretty red now. I have been given some dressings in case the skin starts to breakdown but I am hopeful that it is holding up very well.
My body is still very tired and I will have to make allowances for it for a little while yet. I have made an appointment with occupational health for the 12th Sept about planning my return to work. This will be a scaled return to work to build me back up to full hours gradually.
As for the future of this blog.... I will still be writing the blog as I will continue to get check-ups, doctors appointments and this-and -that to do with the cancer for some time (i.e for ever). However hopefully I will gradually start to move away from "cancer land" and it will become more like popping back now-and-then as opposed to all the time. To reflect this I have changed the title of this blog to 'living with breast cancer' as opposed to 'beating breast cancer'. I have come to realise that the words 'cure' and 'remission' don't really apply to breast cancer because it can rear it's ugly head again at any point. Therefore, I think the term the doctors would use for me now would be "NED" or "No Evidence of Disease". But, that will do very nicely for me :D
I have to go for a Thorax and Abdomen CT scan on Friday and then an appointment with my Oncologist for more of the Tamoxifen discussions next Tuesday. That's all fitted around this exciting hot-air balloon ride.... I don't dare to hope the weather will remain like this for the weekend.
I have been told that the after effects of Radiotherapy will sadly get worse before they get better. So the next few weeks may have to still be a little low key. Generally redness on what I am terming the "Greater Breast Area" is receding. However the smaller square patch that surrounds my scar and extends under my armpit (where I received my boosters) is getting pretty red now. I have been given some dressings in case the skin starts to breakdown but I am hopeful that it is holding up very well.
My body is still very tired and I will have to make allowances for it for a little while yet. I have made an appointment with occupational health for the 12th Sept about planning my return to work. This will be a scaled return to work to build me back up to full hours gradually.
As for the future of this blog.... I will still be writing the blog as I will continue to get check-ups, doctors appointments and this-and -that to do with the cancer for some time (i.e for ever). However hopefully I will gradually start to move away from "cancer land" and it will become more like popping back now-and-then as opposed to all the time. To reflect this I have changed the title of this blog to 'living with breast cancer' as opposed to 'beating breast cancer'. I have come to realise that the words 'cure' and 'remission' don't really apply to breast cancer because it can rear it's ugly head again at any point. Therefore, I think the term the doctors would use for me now would be "NED" or "No Evidence of Disease". But, that will do very nicely for me :D
I have to go for a Thorax and Abdomen CT scan on Friday and then an appointment with my Oncologist for more of the Tamoxifen discussions next Tuesday. That's all fitted around this exciting hot-air balloon ride.... I don't dare to hope the weather will remain like this for the weekend.
Friday, 3 August 2007
Stick a fork in me, I'm done!
That's it!
I especially requested that Kylie sang me out on my last one :)
I especially requested that Kylie sang me out on my last one :)
Give the girl an Oscar.
Well, I have reached it! It is my last one.
I am feeling quite excited about getting what will hopefully be my last ever hospital-based hard-core treatment. I cannot guarantee that I won’t feel a bit emotional later on. But, with Kylie to sing to, I can hopefully get through the last treatment without a blub (tears of happiness obviously).
Gosh, I have made it. It wasn't all that bad! (Ha ha I can say that now!).
I count myself so lucky that I have had so many people there to support me through it. A great family who have treated me just like the same old Dawn. Only my brother could continue to take the piss out of me and get away with it, and I love him all the more for it too! Laughter being the best medicine and all that. I also have very special friends who realised how important it was for me to have something to look forward to and who visited me and took me out of the house! I know so many people who’s outlook on life has been changed knowing what I have been through and that can only be a good thing. You never know what’s round that corner!
A week on Sunday it will be my 1st Wedding Anniversary too. The last year has been both the best and the worst year of my life. I am so glad that I have been married throughout all this. It really makes a difference to say “My husband will be taking me to chemo” and “My husband will be coming to the appointment with me”. James has helped me get through this more than anyone could imagine. Little did we know on 12th August last year when we made vows to support each other through life how poignant they would turn out to be. He has been there at every doctor’s appointment, held my hand through every chemo treatment, kept my spirits up when they could have been down and just been the best husband a girl could ask for. I am not going to apologise for getting all soppy here, I am so proud of him and that he has supported me through everything, cared for me when I needed it and kept things running while having to work harder than ever. It hasn’t been easy but he has been my rock and I am sure we could face whatever the future may bring together. I love him now more than ever before!
Wow, this has almost turned into an Oscar acceptance speech, Gwyneth Paltrow eat your heart out! After I finish typing this post I will be heading off to get that last zapping and I better go now before I start blubbing all over my laptop!
Whippppeeeeeeeeeeee!
And Yes, I will be having a glass of champagne tonight!
(and next weekend too when James and I have our “Exclusive-for-two” Hot-air balloon ride arranged for us by a cancer charity to celebrate the end of treatment and our anniversary, but more info on that should the weather hold out for it to go ahead).
Monday, 30 July 2007
At last, my final week!
It's my last week of treatment this week and I am feeling really great about it.
I have found the radiotherapy has flown by so far and after 6 months of slogging through chemotherapy it seems like a walk in the park. I did expect the worst and made lots of contingency plans in case I couldn't cope but I seem to have got through them OK so far (with a little help now and then). The after-affects can continue for some time so I will need to just bear this in mind, but I am definitely on the up-and-up energy wise. Plus, the doc said my breast was doing "beautifully" so far :D
This week is "Boosters"... which means still going to the same place and the same machine, however they attach this contraption-thing that extends down and down until it touches your skin. Then Zap and its over!
A meeting with The Doctor....
Today I have also had a meeting with the Doc that I was supposed to see last week but she wasn't in. It has been a really productive meeting and I am feeling much better about it than after the meeting with the substitute doctor last week.
This time I was at least looked at and checked over when I told her about my aches and pains instead of being dismissed with a "phuh, it's nothing!"[aka don't-waste-my-time paranoid patient!]. It doesn't take much to just at least listen to my worries (be them paranoid or not) and check me over. Ahhh and my mind is at rest (for now ;-D)
I just feel really reassured that I have had a good check over, feel, listen, prod and poke! She is also going to send me for a CT scan and bone scan just to check things over and get a good baseline for future reference. They should happen in the next few weeks.
Also on the agenda was the "To be (treated), or not to be (treated with tamoxifen)" question.
This is really the million-dollar question and I don't have an answer as yet. This doctor seemed to be erring on the side of treatment not being worth it in my case. (I got the impression she didn't think she would put herself through it).
And now for the science....
Essentially, I was tested for hormone receptors by a core-biopsy which came back with a score of 3/8+, however, the score was negative (0/8) on the final lumpectomy pathology.
So, my cancer may or may not be responding weekly to oestrogen hormones. Therefore the benefit to having hormonal treatments could be really small. So, do I take the hormone therapies which are not without side effects and risks themselves (but doesn't every pill you pop); Tamoxifen can give rise to general menopausal side effects and can in rare cases increase the risk of blood clots and womb cancer. Zoladex is supposed to be temporary and so I should get my fertility (what's left of it hopefully, fingers crossed, touch wood etc etc.) back afterwards but still it is a drug affecting my ovaries and that might not always be the case. So can you tell my mind is a little bit swamped by this decision he he....
I must admit, it is very appealing to not have to have any more treatments and to be a "patient" no longer. This will be a subject James and I will be ruminating over during the next few weeks. I am going back to the oncologist on the 14th Aug to further discuss this with her too. But although it is a decision that needs to be made I don't feel too daunted or shook up by having to make it at the moment.
So for now let's just get these boosters over and done with!
I have found the radiotherapy has flown by so far and after 6 months of slogging through chemotherapy it seems like a walk in the park. I did expect the worst and made lots of contingency plans in case I couldn't cope but I seem to have got through them OK so far (with a little help now and then). The after-affects can continue for some time so I will need to just bear this in mind, but I am definitely on the up-and-up energy wise. Plus, the doc said my breast was doing "beautifully" so far :D
This week is "Boosters"... which means still going to the same place and the same machine, however they attach this contraption-thing that extends down and down until it touches your skin. Then Zap and its over!
A meeting with The Doctor....
Today I have also had a meeting with the Doc that I was supposed to see last week but she wasn't in. It has been a really productive meeting and I am feeling much better about it than after the meeting with the substitute doctor last week.
This time I was at least looked at and checked over when I told her about my aches and pains instead of being dismissed with a "phuh, it's nothing!"[aka don't-waste-my-time paranoid patient!]. It doesn't take much to just at least listen to my worries (be them paranoid or not) and check me over. Ahhh and my mind is at rest (for now ;-D)
I just feel really reassured that I have had a good check over, feel, listen, prod and poke! She is also going to send me for a CT scan and bone scan just to check things over and get a good baseline for future reference. They should happen in the next few weeks.
Also on the agenda was the "To be (treated), or not to be (treated with tamoxifen)" question.
This is really the million-dollar question and I don't have an answer as yet. This doctor seemed to be erring on the side of treatment not being worth it in my case. (I got the impression she didn't think she would put herself through it).
And now for the science....
Essentially, I was tested for hormone receptors by a core-biopsy which came back with a score of 3/8+, however, the score was negative (0/8) on the final lumpectomy pathology.
So, my cancer may or may not be responding weekly to oestrogen hormones. Therefore the benefit to having hormonal treatments could be really small. So, do I take the hormone therapies which are not without side effects and risks themselves (but doesn't every pill you pop); Tamoxifen can give rise to general menopausal side effects and can in rare cases increase the risk of blood clots and womb cancer. Zoladex is supposed to be temporary and so I should get my fertility (what's left of it hopefully, fingers crossed, touch wood etc etc.) back afterwards but still it is a drug affecting my ovaries and that might not always be the case. So can you tell my mind is a little bit swamped by this decision he he....
I must admit, it is very appealing to not have to have any more treatments and to be a "patient" no longer. This will be a subject James and I will be ruminating over during the next few weeks. I am going back to the oncologist on the 14th Aug to further discuss this with her too. But although it is a decision that needs to be made I don't feel too daunted or shook up by having to make it at the moment.
So for now let's just get these boosters over and done with!
Thursday, 26 July 2007
A little bit of Bananarama...
Only you can set me free,
'Cos I'm guilty,
Guilty as a girl can be,
Come on baby can't you see,
I stand accuuuuuuuuuuused of love in the first degree.
combine that with a little Kylie of course.....
Better the devil you know,
Better the devil you know,
oohh oh ohho oh ohho oh oh oh oh...
and you have a session of radiotherapy!
I've been a bit sleepy the last couple of days. I have been over-sleeping and yesterday didn't have chance to tame my sticking up short hair. I was so embarrassed when I went into my Radiotherapy session that I had to explain to the 3 nurses (male and female) why my hair was such a mess... then I realised the bizarreness of being embarrassed about how my hair looked when I was standing there topless -It's just become second nature these days to get looked at, prodded and poked that I don't think twice about that!
'Cos I'm guilty,
Guilty as a girl can be,
Come on baby can't you see,
I stand accuuuuuuuuuuused of love in the first degree.
combine that with a little Kylie of course.....
Better the devil you know,
Better the devil you know,
oohh oh ohho oh ohho oh oh oh oh...
and you have a session of radiotherapy!
I've been a bit sleepy the last couple of days. I have been over-sleeping and yesterday didn't have chance to tame my sticking up short hair. I was so embarrassed when I went into my Radiotherapy session that I had to explain to the 3 nurses (male and female) why my hair was such a mess... then I realised the bizarreness of being embarrassed about how my hair looked when I was standing there topless -It's just become second nature these days to get looked at, prodded and poked that I don't think twice about that!
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
It's like buses....
you wait for a while and then 3 posts come along at once!
I had a medical review appointment at yesterday's radiotherapy session. I had built this up thinking it would be a check-over of my radiotherapy area (which I could use to get a couple of worries off my chest about a few pains and things). I also thought I would sort out my hormonal treatments to start after radiotherapy. Obviously the doc just had a quick glance at me, nothing more and couldn't really tell me anything about the next part of my treatment.
I have realised I am really not good when plans change and it can really throw me off course and cause the leaking eyes if I don't get the answers and discussions I was expecting to cover. I can deal with the big ole' things but give me a different doctor to the one I was expecting and that can trigger me off for a start.
So I am again a bit unsure about what the next stage is. My oncologist suggested Tamoxifen and Zoladex as I have mentioned. However yesterdays Doc threw in the fact that "it is debatable about whether hormonal therapies will provide any benefit" and that "If I was going to be given Zoladex to put me into the menopause I should have Arimidex which is more effective than Tamoxifen".
Hmmmmm I like to be involved in the decisions that get made about my treatment and take an active part to understand the options.... so now I am a bit unsure of the best course of action. Better get another appointment with my oncologist sorted to discuss it.
My general feelings about the "debatable" issue are to consider how I would feel in 2 years time if it came back and was shown to be responding to hormones and I hadn't taken any hormonal therapies..... I would feel a bit stupid then wouldn't I!
It's not like I can ask all my 'Breast Buddies' as every single young girl I have come across seems to be having totally different treatments. So I have blatently used my blog here to get it all off my chest - what a wonderful invention a blog can be.
I had a medical review appointment at yesterday's radiotherapy session. I had built this up thinking it would be a check-over of my radiotherapy area (which I could use to get a couple of worries off my chest about a few pains and things). I also thought I would sort out my hormonal treatments to start after radiotherapy. Obviously the doc just had a quick glance at me, nothing more and couldn't really tell me anything about the next part of my treatment.
I have realised I am really not good when plans change and it can really throw me off course and cause the leaking eyes if I don't get the answers and discussions I was expecting to cover. I can deal with the big ole' things but give me a different doctor to the one I was expecting and that can trigger me off for a start.
So I am again a bit unsure about what the next stage is. My oncologist suggested Tamoxifen and Zoladex as I have mentioned. However yesterdays Doc threw in the fact that "it is debatable about whether hormonal therapies will provide any benefit" and that "If I was going to be given Zoladex to put me into the menopause I should have Arimidex which is more effective than Tamoxifen".
Hmmmmm I like to be involved in the decisions that get made about my treatment and take an active part to understand the options.... so now I am a bit unsure of the best course of action. Better get another appointment with my oncologist sorted to discuss it.
My general feelings about the "debatable" issue are to consider how I would feel in 2 years time if it came back and was shown to be responding to hormones and I hadn't taken any hormonal therapies..... I would feel a bit stupid then wouldn't I!
It's not like I can ask all my 'Breast Buddies' as every single young girl I have come across seems to be having totally different treatments. So I have blatently used my blog here to get it all off my chest - what a wonderful invention a blog can be.
Catching the sun.
Well, things are still going along well. I am feeling very bright today (is it related to the fact that it is sunny outside???) and I even felt up to attempting a little housework this morning! sssh don't tell James I am feeling that well.
I was very sleepy over the weekend and also needed James to take me for yesterday's session, tiredness must just come and go.
My skin is doing really well with no itching or discomfort. The red patch so far can be described as "just caught the sun" as opposed to "sun burn". Only 3 more full-boob zapping sessions with the X-rays until I switch to "Boosters" which means bombarding the scar area with electrons apparently.
Anyway, interesting fact for the day [which I have just heard on Steve Wright in the afternoon but actually appears to also be scientific fact(in Norway at least)] that cancer prognosis has been shown to be related to the season of diagnosis!?! Patients diagnosed in the summer having better outcomes than those in the winter. Well I never. I was diagnosed autumn time going onto winter, however, as I found the lump in Australia where it was summer and very sunny I am classing myself as a summer-diagnosee!!! I think they are suggesting it is related to Vitamin D levels at time of diagnosis and treatment or something or other. Guess I better get out in the garden and mop up some rays just to make sure! :D
I was very sleepy over the weekend and also needed James to take me for yesterday's session, tiredness must just come and go.
My skin is doing really well with no itching or discomfort. The red patch so far can be described as "just caught the sun" as opposed to "sun burn". Only 3 more full-boob zapping sessions with the X-rays until I switch to "Boosters" which means bombarding the scar area with electrons apparently.
Anyway, interesting fact for the day [which I have just heard on Steve Wright in the afternoon but actually appears to also be scientific fact(in Norway at least)] that cancer prognosis has been shown to be related to the season of diagnosis!?! Patients diagnosed in the summer having better outcomes than those in the winter. Well I never. I was diagnosed autumn time going onto winter, however, as I found the lump in Australia where it was summer and very sunny I am classing myself as a summer-diagnosee!!! I think they are suggesting it is related to Vitamin D levels at time of diagnosis and treatment or something or other. Guess I better get out in the garden and mop up some rays just to make sure! :D
No cheese today.
Today I didn't have any cheese to bop along to... it was one of those modern bands playing a song the likes of which you would hear on Radio One! I don't like it!
Yesterday however, Rick Astley with Together Forever (I've already experienced "Never gonna give you up" the other day)... so lets hear it.....together forever and never to part... together forever we two... and don't you know I would move heaven and earth... to be together forever with yoooouuuuuu!
I think my Radiotherapy is being sponsored by Stock, Aitken and Waterman!
Yesterday however, Rick Astley with Together Forever (I've already experienced "Never gonna give you up" the other day)... so lets hear it.....together forever and never to part... together forever we two... and don't you know I would move heaven and earth... to be together forever with yoooouuuuuu!
I think my Radiotherapy is being sponsored by Stock, Aitken and Waterman!
Friday, 20 July 2007
Especially for you.
The cheese continues.... Kylie and Jason followed by Rick Astley today. I'm loving it!
This means I am now half way through the radiotherapy. The treatment has so far given me a definite square patch of red skin where I am being treated and a little bit of tiredness to go with it.
This means I am now half way through the radiotherapy. The treatment has so far given me a definite square patch of red skin where I am being treated and a little bit of tiredness to go with it.
Thursday, 19 July 2007
Can't touch this!
well, I have had a lovely few days. I am actually enjoying the routine of getting out and doing something every day.
I spent the first two nights of this week away from home. I stayed with some friends who live close to the hospital. I told myself that this would cut down on tiring driving to-and-fro every day, but really I wanted to see my friends and spend some time with them. And I have definitely done that over the last few days! Hello to Sarah (one of my breast friends); Moira; Marie and Josie; Sarah C, Jim and Sarah M; Ruth and Stu!
Plus I have fitted in a hand and foot massage and a session of reflexology.... all around a few strategic afternoon power naps!
phew!
As for the Radiotherapy, it is going well. My skin is starting to take on a slight sun-kissed look, but it is hardly noticeable - I needed the nurse to point it out to me. The sessions themselves are so quick and are still being accompanied by cheesy music (I am learning self control to not sing along).
Mondays Music: Mc Hammer - Can't touch this
Tuesdays Music: Unknown Cheese
Wednesdays Music: Kylie again "What do I have to do"
oooh, the anticipation over what will be playing later today ;-D
I spent the first two nights of this week away from home. I stayed with some friends who live close to the hospital. I told myself that this would cut down on tiring driving to-and-fro every day, but really I wanted to see my friends and spend some time with them. And I have definitely done that over the last few days! Hello to Sarah (one of my breast friends); Moira; Marie and Josie; Sarah C, Jim and Sarah M; Ruth and Stu!
Plus I have fitted in a hand and foot massage and a session of reflexology.... all around a few strategic afternoon power naps!
phew!
As for the Radiotherapy, it is going well. My skin is starting to take on a slight sun-kissed look, but it is hardly noticeable - I needed the nurse to point it out to me. The sessions themselves are so quick and are still being accompanied by cheesy music (I am learning self control to not sing along).
Mondays Music: Mc Hammer - Can't touch this
Tuesdays Music: Unknown Cheese
Wednesdays Music: Kylie again "What do I have to do"
oooh, the anticipation over what will be playing later today ;-D
Friday, 13 July 2007
1 week down, just 3 to go!
Yay, I've finished my first week of Rads.
Doing just fine :-D
Although the side effects are not suppose to set in until the second week I am feeling a little tight in the area and feel like I have a ping pong ball in my armpit at times... the nurse said this could be the effects of the rads on scar tissue from the op that removed my lymph nodes from there.... but equally it could just be me imagining it and waiting for something to happen.
The week has gone well and I am getting into the routine. James has driven me for some, I've driven myself for some, I've stayed at a friends near the hospital for some - so its just flown. I've also been really shattered at times this week, I don't yet think this is a side effect of the radiotherapy but more that I haven't picked up energy-wise since the end of chemo. Apart from that I am having to apply emollient cream to the treatment area morning and night. I now have the most supremely moisturised right breast!
The treatments themselves are uneventful. Apart from one day where we had an hours waiting around I have been straight in-and-out. The most eventful thing to the treatments so far has been today when I had to suppress a fit of giggles to stay perfectly still during my treatment. The nurses played Kylie Minogue "I Should Be So Lucky" into the room. I tell you - how are you supposed to stay still when the desire to sing along is soooo strong and I told the nurses so... I wasn't the first to say that today so cue the need to hold back the giggles to stay perfectly aligned. I think they have done it on purpose. At least now I know how long it takes to get zapped - The whole duration of Kylie's "I Should Be So Lucky" and the first half of Mel and Kim's Respectable!
So that's my week really!
Doing just fine :-D
Although the side effects are not suppose to set in until the second week I am feeling a little tight in the area and feel like I have a ping pong ball in my armpit at times... the nurse said this could be the effects of the rads on scar tissue from the op that removed my lymph nodes from there.... but equally it could just be me imagining it and waiting for something to happen.
The week has gone well and I am getting into the routine. James has driven me for some, I've driven myself for some, I've stayed at a friends near the hospital for some - so its just flown. I've also been really shattered at times this week, I don't yet think this is a side effect of the radiotherapy but more that I haven't picked up energy-wise since the end of chemo. Apart from that I am having to apply emollient cream to the treatment area morning and night. I now have the most supremely moisturised right breast!
The treatments themselves are uneventful. Apart from one day where we had an hours waiting around I have been straight in-and-out. The most eventful thing to the treatments so far has been today when I had to suppress a fit of giggles to stay perfectly still during my treatment. The nurses played Kylie Minogue "I Should Be So Lucky" into the room. I tell you - how are you supposed to stay still when the desire to sing along is soooo strong and I told the nurses so... I wasn't the first to say that today so cue the need to hold back the giggles to stay perfectly aligned. I think they have done it on purpose. At least now I know how long it takes to get zapped - The whole duration of Kylie's "I Should Be So Lucky" and the first half of Mel and Kim's Respectable!
So that's my week really!
Monday, 9 July 2007
...and so the next phase begins.
Today I have had my first Radiotherapy zapping. It all went swimmingly and has left no obvious side effects that I am aware of :)
I am so pleased to be starting the next phase of my treatment. It simply involves walking into the room, whipping my top off and jumping up on the table. They then fiddle around for a minute lining me up by my tattoos and then buzzzzzz and it's done.
I am to have all my appointments around midday which means I can get myself into a nice little routine, avoiding traffic and avoiding temptation to do too many other things that might tire me out. With the appointments being around midday I might even have to think about sorting out a nice little picnic and flask of tea to be taking in with me every day :)
I am so pleased to be starting the next phase of my treatment. It simply involves walking into the room, whipping my top off and jumping up on the table. They then fiddle around for a minute lining me up by my tattoos and then buzzzzzz and it's done.I am to have all my appointments around midday which means I can get myself into a nice little routine, avoiding traffic and avoiding temptation to do too many other things that might tire me out. With the appointments being around midday I might even have to think about sorting out a nice little picnic and flask of tea to be taking in with me every day :)
Friday, 6 July 2007
The hair growth continues.....
For those who are interested in following the hair growth here is a photo taken last night (I went out to the pub for a couple of hours, Yay). I took the plunge and went au-natural. I also cut James' hair last week with the clippers so I nearly have hair longer than my husbands (oh, the temptation to put the wrong clipper attatchment on and speed up the process of getting longer hair than my hubby was so strong). But step-by-step I will get closer to normality and the "old" me.
I'm back.
I am back at home now... and have to confess I am still in bed (it is 1:30 in the afternoon!).
I have had a nice break away and I have done quite a few nice things this week. I did try to tell myself I needed to rest in readiness for Radiotherapy - but I will never listen (and would do it the same all over again ;-D). Just give me back a little energy and I grab it with both hands. So today I have taken the pace down significantly and plan to just rest over the weekend.
I have been missed by all while I was away and so it is nice to come home to lots of attention and cuddles. How the cats will cope when I go back to work I don't know!
So, I start the Radiotherapy on Monday and I am putting aside July as just "Radiotherapy" month. Bring it on.
I have had a nice break away and I have done quite a few nice things this week. I did try to tell myself I needed to rest in readiness for Radiotherapy - but I will never listen (and would do it the same all over again ;-D). Just give me back a little energy and I grab it with both hands. So today I have taken the pace down significantly and plan to just rest over the weekend.
I have been missed by all while I was away and so it is nice to come home to lots of attention and cuddles. How the cats will cope when I go back to work I don't know!
So, I start the Radiotherapy on Monday and I am putting aside July as just "Radiotherapy" month. Bring it on.
Friday, 29 June 2007
Leaving the poison behind....
Well, I have made it through the slump of Thursday and I am oh so close to making it through the aches of Friday. If I am honest, if that hadn't been the last one I am not sure I could have taken many more - boy how they had built up.
But, I can now say;
Goodbye achy back
Goodbye achy tingly big toe and numb feet
Goodbye sore shoulder blade muscles (you don't realise how many muscles your body has till they individually ache ;-D)
Goodbye sore nails
Goodbye yucky icky chemo feeling - "the fuggyness"
Goodbye to eating lots (well, OK that one is likely to stay put for some time yet)
Hello to the joys of washing my hair
Hello to the chore of shaving my legs
Hello to having energy in my tired-old bones once more
And finally .... a big hello to resuming my champagne habit!
I am off to spend a week of full-on recuperation at my folks, so I will be back here in time for the start of my Radiotherapy.
But, I can now say;
Goodbye achy back
Goodbye achy tingly big toe and numb feet
Goodbye sore shoulder blade muscles (you don't realise how many muscles your body has till they individually ache ;-D)
Goodbye sore nails
Goodbye yucky icky chemo feeling - "the fuggyness"
Goodbye to eating lots (well, OK that one is likely to stay put for some time yet)
Hello to the joys of washing my hair
Hello to the chore of shaving my legs
Hello to having energy in my tired-old bones once more
And finally .... a big hello to resuming my champagne habit!
I am off to spend a week of full-on recuperation at my folks, so I will be back here in time for the start of my Radiotherapy.
Tuesday, 26 June 2007
CHEMO DAY : The Last One!
YIPPPEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
The hair close up...
The hair is coming on, eyebrows and eyelashes are not faring so well - I have never completely lost them but they have thinned lots and I only have short invisible baby eyelashes.... roll on the day I can wear mascara again and I can start to look like me once more!
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